Stairway to Heavan
by Leiko Sagatori
Summary: Songfic. Tohru dies. Yuki reflects on how he, and the other Sohmas reacted to her death and if she would approve. FIXED


Disclaimer-I do not own Fruits Basket, the rights to Stairway to Heavan, or anything else mentioned in this fic.  
  
A/N-This is my first songfic, and my first Fruits Basket. Anywho, Tohru dies from a virus, Yuki reflects on the way he took her death. Song is "Stairway to Heavan" by Led Zeppelin, I changed 'buying' to 'flying' in the lyrics. Lyrics are incased with ~*~.  
  
¤The Stairway to Heavan¤ by: Leiko Sagatori  
  
~*~  
  
There's a lady who's sure  
  
that all that glitters is gold  
  
~*~  
  
Tohru Honda, died unexpectedly, more than enough tears were spread over her death. Anyone that knew her, cried. I cried, even though she would never want any of us to mourn her death, she would only wish for us to move on and have a happy life. She was always so cheerful, so optimistic.  
  
~*~  
  
And she's flying the stairway to heavan  
  
when she gets there she knows if the stores   
  
are all closed, with a word, she can get what she came for  
  
~*~  
  
She was so polite and cheerful. The only thing she ever wanted was for everyone to be happy, even it pained her somehow.  
  
~*~  
  
Ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh  
  
And she's flying the stairway to heavan  
  
~*~  
  
Why her? She always made me so happy, even after I saw Akito at school. She was so happy, and made everyone around her happy. Never negative about any situation. Why her? Why did she have to leave me? Why did she have to leave us?  
  
~*~  
  
There's a sign on the wall but she wants to be   
  
sure cuz you know sometimes words have  
  
two meanings  
  
~*~  
  
She always jumped to give advice. The advice she did hand out would always make everyone feel better. She always knew something was troubling me or anyone else for that matter. Why her? Oh god, why her? Why?  
  
~*~  
  
In the tree by the brook there's a song bird  
  
who sings "Sometimes all of our thoughts are misgiven"  
  
~*~  
  
Now, while thinking about it, I wish that the pain would go away. Even if it meant forgeting about her...No. I would never want to forget her...Never. But I have no idea how to rid myself of the greif, the pain, the emptiness. I could just get rid of everything. No one really cares about me...at least not anymore. What am I thinking? She would be appalled to hear me think about this. But the pain, it's so unbearable.  
  
~*~  
  
Ooh It makes me wonder  
  
~*~  
  
If I had never met her, I wonder, what kind of person I would be today. There's no telling now. Would I have ever smiled? Would I still bottle up any human emotion, other than anger and contentment? Would I still be alive? Or would I just give up...once again, it's hard to tell.  
  
~*~  
  
There's a feeling I get when I look to the when I look to the west  
  
And my spirit is crying for leaving. In my thoughts I have seen.   
  
Rings of smoke through the trees and the voices that stand looking  
  
~*~  
  
Sometimes, I have dreams about her. The same Tohru that I've always know, and grew to love. She's always smiling. I break down into tears and ask if she's really there, the usual dillusional cliché from those left by the death of loved ones. I always wake up, heart pounding, legs weak, and tears drenching my cheeks.  
  
~*~  
  
And it's a whisper that soon if we all call the tune and the piper will   
  
lead us to reason. And a new day will dawn for those who   
  
stand long and the forest will echo with laughter  
  
~*~  
  
Kisa was the one who took it the hardest, it was her turn to bring Ms. Honda breakfast that morning, but found her dead...and cold. Hiro was always around to comfort Kisa, but you could see the sadness in his eyes. Kyou couldn't bare the pain and killed himself in the woods out in the back of the house. Kagura couldn't bring herself to smile even in the smallest bit. Shigure was slightly less talkitive or active. But I knew it hurt him deeply to see her go, sometimes, I could hear him sobbing in his work room. Even my brother, Ayame, looked sad, but he smiled more than any of us. Momiji barely talks, he was diganosed with depression by Hatori. Hatori, he was usually so hard to read, but now you can see that he is not the same. Haru did cry in public, but always tried to remain calm.  
  
I think that she would be sadden by how we took her death, she never wanted to make anyone sad, and never to drive anyone to commit suicide. That stupid cat, losing control. But the image of him hanging from the tree, tears soakened his face, is still fresh in my mind. Almost doll like...so surreal.  
  
~*~  
  
If there's a bustle in your hedgeron, don't be alarmed now.  
  
It's just a spring clean for the May Queen  
  
~*~  
  
At her wake, many of her co-workers came, they're faces look torn with agony. They all comment how she loved to work, even it were too hard.  
  
~*~  
  
Yes, there are two paths you can go by but in the long run  
  
there's still time to change the road your on.  
  
~*~  
  
The only thing I want now is to live my life the way she would have wanted me to. Not sad, nor depressed, but with happiness. But I fear, that I've gone too far into my sadness to even begin to try anymore, I did try to keep in mind that she would want me to keep trying, no matter what.  
  
~*~  
  
Your head is humming and it won't go in case  
  
you don't know. The piper's calling you to join him.  
  
~*~  
  
It gets so hard living here, every little thing reminds me of her. I don't know wether to curse it or to embrace it. But everytime I think of her my heart clenches and my throat gets tight. I even have to fight off tears. Maybe Kyou made the right decision. Where did that come from? I think I'm just confusing myself...but sometimes that's all I have left to do is think.  
  
~*~  
  
Dear lady, can you hear the wind blow,  
  
and did you know, your stairway lies on the whispering wind?  
  
~*~  
  
The idea of what next always seems to be here. We can't live life the way it was before she was gone. We have come to used to her. I resigned as student class president, I couldn't lie to myself like that for any longer.  
  
~*~  
  
And as we wind on down the road  
  
Our shadows taller than our souls  
  
~*~  
  
I remember one time, when Hatori said that the Sohma family has a dark shadow over it, it made me feel like anyone under the curse had no reason to live, we were denined all parts of our souls.   
  
~*~  
  
There walks a lady we all know  
  
Who shines white light and wants to show  
  
How everything stills turns to gold.  
  
~*~  
  
The truth of it all is. I was in love with her. And I lost the chance to tell her. But maybe I'm stressing out about this too much. I hope everything will turn out. That's the way it should be and that's the one thing she would say right now.  
  
~*~  
  
And if you listen very hard   
  
The tune will come to at last   
  
When all are one and one is all  
  
To be a rock and not to roll  
  
~*~  
  
I would hate to think that this is all that I have left in life. To mourn the loss of her. To regret not telling her sooner. To beat myself up about everything, that I should have said, could have said, to make her happy. And to keep her happy and healthy. But I couldn't. Why? I'm worthless now....  
  
~*~  
  
And she's flying the stairway to heavan  
  
~*~  
  
~~*Fin*~~  
  
A/N-Since this is the fixed version...that sounded professional, all I want is some reviews. Like or dislike tell me what's wrong with it, hell flame me. But critize, no I hate you-flames unless you leave details. Now I'm babbling. Ja ne! 


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